


Thank You for Crying

by blackrainbow



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M, enlisting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 11:25:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4390016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrainbow/pseuds/blackrainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn’t remember who put their new released cd to the player, but little by little, he hated the fact that he felt sad. Changmin forgot the last time he felt sad. He tried to ignore it and drowned himself with more beer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thank You for Crying

“Oh.”

 

Changmin looked at Yunho, the older was sitting on his apartment couch, reading newspaper, which was something Changmin rarely seen. When was the last time Yunho read something? Especially newspapers. He remembered the man complained of how small the letter was, squinted his eyes to the paper.

 

“You’ve shaven your hair.”

 

Yunho let out a small smile, rubbed his head and put down the newspaper. “I didn’t hear you coming.”

 

“I thought I was gonna shave your hair.” Changmin put the cans of beer he bought to the fridge.

 

Yunho went to the kitchen. “You buy too many-“

 

“Why don’t you clean-“

 

“I’m going anyway.”

 

Changmin stilled, hand stopped midair, holding a can, the cool air from the fridge felt unusually cold on his face.

 

Yunho took the rest of the beer from the plastic bag and put it inside the fridge, closed the door.

 

Changmin walked to Yunho’s bedroom. “You’ve packed your things.” He glared to the innocent luggage.

 

“There’s not much to pack.” Yunho followed Changmin.

 

“Of course.” Changmin cleared his throat.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin remembered the first time they told him Yunho’s enlisting date.

 

“Is it okay for you?” Yunho asked after the managers left, and they were heading to the studio. The room was still empty.

 

Changmin gave him a weird look. “Of course. You have to go. And I will be too. It’s mandatory.”

 

Yunho was going to say something, but he closed his mouth.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m just thinking.” Yunho put down his water bottle. “If you’re gonna miss me.” He looked at the younger softly.

 

“You’re joking.”

 

But Yunho wasn’t.

 

And Changmin realized it a second too late as soon as Yunho looked away. “I mean, I can visit, right? It’s not like we’re separating for years.”

 

Yunho smiled again. “You’re right.”

 

Changmin was relieved.

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho gave him his solo CD and he heard it on his way to the shooting location.

 

“The CEO ask for your solo activities.” His manager said.

 

“I’m filming a drama now.”

 

“Like, solo album.”

 

Changmin didn’t reply. He listened to Yunho singing. Hearing his voice made him sick. Hearing Yunho’s voice without his, made him sick. Imagining his voice without Yunho’s, made him sick.

 

“Or something else?” the manager asked.

 

“Like what?”

 

“We Got Married?”

 

The thought made Changmin even more sick. “What if I’m enlisting too?”

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho was going to enlist. But it was okay. Changmin could visit him.

 

But Changmin was enlisting too.

 

 

*

 

 

“Are you gonna do something with the beer you bought?” Yunho asked, Changmin was curled on Yunho’s couch.

 

“Is it cold yet?”

 

“I’ve bought the snack you want.”

 

Changmin looked at Yunho. The man looked so different with his very short hair. He still not used to it.

 

“You said you want to have a beer with me. Talk about stuff. Or is it only you acting as a spoiled needy maknae?” He patted Changmin’s thigh to move aside to give him some space.

 

Changmin shot Yunho a look as the older sitting down. “You watch my interview?”

 

Yunho just opened a bag of potato chips.

 

“You watch my interview.” Changmin said again. “Of course you do.”

 

Yunho kicked Changmin’s knee. “Go bring the beer.”

 

Changmin glared and Yunho threw him a chip, the younger caught it inside his mouth. Changmin hummed proudly and Yunho clapped.

 

Yunho fed Changmin another chips and said, “Beer.”

 

Changmin got up and went to the kitchen, took as much as his long arms allowed.

 

“What about your enlisting date?” Yunho asked, opened a can, and offered it to Changmin first before opened his own.

 

Changmin received the beer, hated how Yunho’s little actions made his heart beat faster. And he knew he’d miss this shit. “Winter.”

 

“It’ll be damn cold.”

 

Changmin hummed.

 

He didn’t remember who put their new released cd to the player, but little by little, he hated the fact that he felt sad. Changmin forgot the last time he felt sad. He tried to ignore it and drowned himself with more beer.

 

Yunho in the opposite, was more interested in the snacks he bought. He was devouring his second mango pudding, licked the spoon clean before disposing it. He stood up and opened the balcony door. Changmin said nothing, but eyes never left the older.

 

“Are you smoking?” Changmin yelled.

 

Yunho replied a yes.

 

“You shouldn’t. You’re getting old and your breath will be short.” Changmin didn’t know what he was saying.

 

Yunho still smoking and Changmin lay on the floor, where he could see Yunho looking at the night sky. When the older turned around, his eyes spotted Changmin. He laughed.

 

“You look miserable.” Yunho said, huffed out the white smoke.

 

“Who?” Changmin tried to pour the beer to his mouth in his laying position. It worked.

 

“Don’t move. Let me take a picture.”

 

Changmin let the empty beer can sat on his lips as Yunho took his picture. “I’m not miserable,” he said.

 

“No, but this photo says otherwise.” Yunho said, looking at his phone. “I like it. That I’m the only one who can see you like this.”

 

Changmin turned his head to the other side. The can fell from his face. He opened another one and Yunho smoked another cigarettes. He heard the same song twice, or maybe thrice, he didn’t know how much the player had repeated the cd.

 

After some time, Yunho came back inside, offered his hand to him, and said, “Dance with me.”

 

Changmin scoffed.

 

“Come on, Changdol,” Yunho said again, bent down and reached for his partner’s hands, lifted him up. “Dance with me.”

 

Yunho put his hands on Changmin’s slim waist, swayed their body left and right, and Changmin chuckled as he put his arms around Yunho’s shoulder.

 

“I saw the fancam during SM Town in Tokyo. Have I told you that you did very well?” Yunho asked. “You always do very well, Changmin-ah,” he said. “You can do well by yourself.”

 

Changmin gulped down the ‘But I don’t wanna be by myself,’ and said, “Of course.”

 

“And I thought you don’t like skinship with men too. But apparently it’s only me.”

 

Changmin accidentally stepped on Yunho’s toe.

 

Yunho held him closer and led him to sway to different direction. “You even kissed your hoobae too. I’m jealous.”

 

Changmin was just trying to hide the fact that he was lonely. He didn’t want the fans to see that. He wanted to show that he was doing fine, without Yunho. “If you want a kiss-“

 

Yunho turned his head to show the younger his left cheek.

 

Changmin bit his jaw.

 

Yunho laughed and held Changmin tighter until there was no space between them. Changmin was grateful because he didn’t have to shy away, and Yunho couldn’t look at his face.

 

“I don’t know you stalk me.” Changmin said, played with Yunho’s short hair.

 

“I even browsed your airport photos, Min. Sorry girls, I only date models.” Yunho laughed. “So you date Lee Soohyuk?”

 

“You-“ Changmin agitated, his arms tightened and he wished he could strangle Yunho to death. So he could keep his body and Yunho wouldn’t leave him forever.

 

“I’m waiting for the fanmade shirt that says; ‘Sorry girls I only date Jung Yunho’ and will give it to you.”

 

Changmin paid attention to what Yunho said, but didn’t retort as the warmth from the older comfort him, and he wanted nothing but buried himself deeper. And he didn’t want Yunho to stop talking.

 

“Changmin,” Yunho called again.

 

Changmin could feel Yunho’s hand move from his waist to his back and his neck.

 

“I still want that kiss.”

 

So Changmin turned his head, and Yunho’s lips caught his. It was just the way he remembered it, soft and plush, the cigarette smell was stronger to his likings but he couldn’t complain, and he wondered if Yunho tasted the bitter beer on his tongue as well. And they kissed and kissed, as that would be their last time to find themselves in each other.

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho was going to the camp with his parents in one car, while Changmin went in the other with their manager. He couldn’t stay long and there weren’t many words exchanged between them. Changmin gave him a big smile and left him to his family and got back to the van.

 

The manager was waiting inside the van, so Changmin took some time to cry at the back of the big car. He thought he wouldn’t, but it was hard. He didn’t want to cry in front of Yunho. And finally, after holding it, the tears fell.

 

The manager told him to hurry, and he got in, head facing the window as they went to his shooting location.

 

 

*

 

 

The show was hosted by Eunhyuk and Leeteuk, there were some SM artists as the guests as well, and he got to promote his drama, so Changmin didn’t say no.

 

“So, Changmin-shi, as Yunho-shi is now in the military, how is it?” Leeteuk asked.

 

“What do you mean by how is it?” came his witty reply. “How is what?” he added with a laugh.

 

And the MCs bickers, Eunhyuk told Leeteuk to host better and asked more detailed questions. Changmin finally said that it was fine, as he was busy filming his new drama, and asking the fans to watch it.

 

“Now, please send a video letter to Yunho,” Leeteuk said.

 

The cameras focused on him, and Changmin felt self conscious. “I can’t do such thing.”

 

“Oh, come on Changmin-shi, just a short message.”

 

“I really bad at it. Really. I don’t know what to say.” Changmin felt his fingers went cold. “Please don’t make me do this.”

 

But the MC didn’t take his refusal and the cameras were still waiting.

 

Changmin bit his lip. “Um. Hi. Yunho Hyung, how are you?” he started. “I… I’m fine.” He breathed out and cleared his throat. “Uh, that’s it, I guess.”

 

Leeteuk asked Eunhyuk to give an example, and told him to give a video letter too to Shindong, which the man did pretty well. He reminded Shindong to reply his letters and not to eat too much and starve the entire platoon. Changmin just laughed awkwardly as the MC asked him to redo it.

 

Changmin looked at the camera and took a breath. “Yunho Hyung, have you been well?” he gulped. “I’m… doing well…, like you said, I always do well. I’m trying to do well even you’re not here. So don’t worry.” He let out a small smile.

 

“I believe you’ll get along well with everybody, that’s your charm. And of course you’ll complete your tasks well too. Because, really, is there something you can’t do? You’re Jung Yunho after all.”

 

“There’s a schedule for your daily activities, and I’m glad that you won’t be missing any meal again. So please eat well and take care of your health. I know how competitive you can be, and you always think the biggest rival is yourself. But don’t push yourself too hard.” Changmin said, smiled a bit and tried hard to push down his emotional feelings. “Please return safely in one piece.” He added, made some guests chuckled.

 

Leeteuk noticed Changmin’s fingers fiddled with the hem of his shirt, and the younger said nothing else. “Do you miss him, Changmin-shi?”

 

Changmin felt his eyes were hot. “I thought I wouldn’t. I thought I’d be fine.” He smiled at Leeteuk. “But I do. I miss him.” He knew his eyes were watery, but hell no to cry in the national television, even though he knew it’d increase the rating.

 

He was grateful when the MC asked another guest about another topic.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin received Yunho’s phonecall when he was resting in the shooting location.

 

“I miss you too, Changdollie…”

 

Changmin scoffed.

 

“Leeteuk recorded your video letter to me.”

 

Changmin’s face was already red from the heat. But he was sure his ears went red too.

 

“I saw you crying outside the van.” Yunho said again.

 

Changmin didn’t say anything, didn’t expect Yunho to see that.

 

“I’m not gonna say don’t cry. I’m glad you do. I’m happy I’m matter that much to your life.” Yunho’s voice was warm and comforting. “I didn’t say goodbye because it isn’t. But I’m lucky to have something that makes me hard to leave. I’m glad there’s someone I can long for, someone to go home to after I’m done.”

 

Changmin was teary again.

 

“Are you there, Changmin?”

 

“You’re an idiot to find out that I care for you just now.” Changmin could hear Yunho smiling. And that smile, he imagined, would light up just like sunshine in the bright summer day.

 

“Of course I already know. But I’m glad to be reminded again.”

 

Picturing Yunho’s smile made Changmin’s heart swell and he felt so much better.

 

“Changmin-ah, thank you, for reminding me that.”

 

“No, Hyung, thank you.” Changmin said. “You… have to do the same when I leave too.”

 

“I will, Min-ah. Though I don’t know if I can do it better than you?”

 

But Changmin knew Yunho could do it a thousand times better.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> jealous yunho is me. sad changmin is me.


End file.
